Flashes
by fojg24-aka 24
Summary: Jarod thinks about things during Ghosts of the Past. Rewritten.


Disclaimer: "The Pretender" and its characters do not belong to me they belong to TNT and NBC and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money.

Author's Note: Okay, here's another look at this fic. Hopefully this one will be a little bit better than the other one.

Flashes   
By: 24

Bartlett hovers over me as I lay in pain on the floor after having the gun slam into me. I can't believe that he's going to have someone kill me and I haven't yet gotten him for what he's done. They say that life flashes in front of your eyes when you know you're about to die and let me tell you they are right.

I see my brother Kyle as a child inside the Centre. The other test subject as Sydney put it and I never knew that he was my brother until I escaped. I haven't yet avenged his death after Lyle killed him. I can't believe that Kyle stepped in front of that bullet for my sake. I will forever carry the guilt that he died because of me. I was the one that Lyle was aiming at not him. I'm glad that the years under Raines's control that he was for a second a good man. He had no control of what his actions were because of what Raines put him through. I'm glad that he saved two lives that day. Not only mine, but that of a young boy who was dying. I still call him just to see how he's doing and because for me it feels like I'm a little bit closer to my baby brother. I think that I haven't found my family yet. Yes, I saw my mother, but had to send my sister and her away. I got to meet my father and we rescued my clone, but that still wasn't enough. Even when we got Emily out of the hospital it wasn't enough. I want my family around me. I hope that my parents and my sister will think of me when I die. And what about my clone? My dad told me that he took the name Jeremy. Now that I'm not going to be living he can have his own life, and won't think he's a copy of me because I won't be around for him to see. He won't look like me until he's older, but still. I want him to be happy and safe and experience the childhood that I never had. I don't know whether I should be jealous or not. I mean I may be a genius, but even genius's have feelings. They have regular feelings of jealousy, love and hate. They even think they may be unlovable because of how they were raised. Yes, we have feelings too.

As I am led through the forest my thoughts go back to the Centre and of course Sydney and Miss Parker. My father figure, or mentor as you may call it in the form of Sydney. He's the one that I turn to for advice and for information. I never told him outright that I love him as a father and that I forgive him for what he did to me inside the Centre. He hopes that he gets the chance to know his true son, Nicolas.

What a time to declare my love for Miss Parker. Yes, I love her and I think that I've always loved her. Ever since we were children inside the Centre when we first met all the way when she had to go away. During my darkest days inside the Centre my thoughts never strayed to the little girl that gave me my first kiss. When I escaped and she started to hunt me he hoped that kind and caring person that she was once would come through, but that was not the case. She pursued me relentlessly, but I don't think that she had the heart to actually turn me in. I think that she has to hide what she truly is because of her father and the Centre. I still sometimes think I hear the voice of what she once was in her when I call. I hope she knows that I forgive her for hunting me like an animal. He knows that she has no choice when the Centre is involved. I hope that she knows that he didn't mean to hurt her when he sent Thomas to her, and then he died because she wanted to move away from them and of course they couldn't have that. It was my fault that he died just like it was my fault that Kyle died. I take the blame for them, but that doesn't mean that I want to die. I want to avenge his death too and I haven't done that either.

It also makes me think of Broots. Poor intimidated Broots. He's a little shy, but he's a very good friend to have. He remembered when he had helped gain custody of Debbie for him. He hoped that Debbie and Broots have a great life and in the future ahead of them. He's a good father to his daughter and I would of liked to be a father just like him. When I helped him with Damon he remembered saying that he respected him because he was a good father. He had hoped that he would have been as good as a father as Broots, but now he would never know.

As he pushes me into the river, I think that I haven't lived my life. He thinks about the things that he still have yet to discover. I flinch when I hear the gun go off behind me and I'm surprised that I'm not dead. Then Luke tells me who he really is. I cut my arm and put the blood on it to take it back to Bartlett and then smile as he thinks of a way to punish him as he walks away. By the time that I think of a plan I'm already at the Church waiting for him. This is a good day to be alive and for that I'm thankful.

The End


End file.
